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By Louva Hartwell
Edited by Cesar Montes
Phoenix - Isadore Boni is an openly gay male from the San Carlos Apache Tribe in Arizona. He has been living with HIV/AIDS and Hepatitis C since May 2, 2002 and went public with his status on December 1, 2004, during an interview with Mary Kim Titla of Channel 12 News. Currently, he is touring the state of Arizona as an educator for HIV prevention. One of the goals for the tour is to reduce the stigma attached to people living with HIV/AIDS within the Native American community.
Along for the interview is Jared Henry, Boni’s partner. Henry is also living with AIDS and of the same tribe. In the past, Boni would never mention his partner out of respect for his privacy. Today on World AIDS Day the mood is different and Henry and Boni have agreed to share their story with NativeOUT.com readers.
My name is Jared Henry and, like Isadore, from the San Carlos Apache Reservation. My clan is "roadrunner" and Isadore's clan is "descheen". With all the publicity Isadore received, I've always "hid" behind the cameras. Since this is NativeOUT, I am more "comfortable" doing this, as long as people, especially tribal members, respect my privacy.
My mom and sister knew about my status 5 years ago. They are the only ones I told in my family. I know people in Bylas who have died of AIDS, without getting an HIV test or getting treated. Being with Isadore this past year and all the pictures, people know I have AIDS too.
I plan to stay with Isadore for the rest of my life. I love him and I know he needs more support than I can provide.
Note: "Bylas" is a small community on the San Carlos Apache reservation.
Q & A Interview with Isadore Boni
How and when did you contract HIV and Hepatitis C?
I contracted HIV and Hepatitis C through having unprotected sex and while being under the influence of alcohol in 2001. Several months later, in 2002, I began having symptoms. This was right after my dad died in February 2002. In essence, I allowed the virus to creep into my bloodstream.
How did your family react when you told them you were gay?
I never really told them. They never asked me either. I believe they knew all my life that I was gay. They just never approached the issue, as did I. The fact that the other kids or people on the reservation calling me names pretty much said it all.
How did your family react when you told them you were HIV positive?
My mom said she suspected it. When the others knew they also said they had their suspicions. They thought I was going to drop-dead right away. I had to tell them about the new medications and how long life can be lived if taking the meds and treating your body well. This came as a relief for them.
What is your relationship like with your family now?
My family has been heaven-sent! They all support me with my co-infection as well as going public. They also feel my pain, and since my dad died we have become as close as a family we never really were. The hugs, the "I love yous" and words of support which were never there to begin with are making me stronger and healthier. I know other Natives with AIDS don't have that kind of support. I want to bring the love I have received from my family out in the open so it can hopefully provide other Natives with hope.
What is your support system like? Do you participate in an HIV positive support group?
Since testing positive three years ago, I received all my support by attending Phoenix Body Positive. I have been attending Roni Berger's "Pizza and the Basics" class every month. It is like an HIV 101 class. I remember crying my eyes out in her class 3 years ago. She is like an angel. She truly loves and cares for me. I wouldn't be able to go public had it not been for her. I also attended one of their support groups on Tuesday nights. I stopped going for a while. Another class I go is the MAN2MAN seminars. They're also under Body Positive and I look forward to next month's session where they will focus on gay Native men. I plan to attend and help as much as I can.
How do you feel about coming out as HIV positive, Hepatitis C positive, and gay all at the same time?
It was not as hard as people might think. Something struck me last year. I knew it was my time to tell the truth. I got tired of lying to people about my health, my meds, and my diagnosis. I was living in halfway houses awaiting housing, so they asked me what health condition I had. The lies grew more and more. The more lies I told, the more shame came about. I got to a point where I had to come clean. That's when I called Mary Kim Titla from Channel 12.
How do you inform the public about HIV prevention and reducing the stigma around HIV?
That's a tough one. When I share my story about how I got infected, and what I did NOT do to prevent getting the virus, that itself is a message of prevention. When I share my struggles and pain I endured the past 3 years, that is a message of prevention. When I share the negative comments or even the beatings while being homeless, that is a message of prevention. People don't seem to understand. As for stigma, the more "secretive" and "quiet" we remain, the more shame will grow. And with more shame comes a greater amount of stigma. One person cannot stop stigma, but one person can make a difference.
At what point did you transition from HIV status to AIDS?
Last November 2004 I was diagnosed with AIDS. My CD4 counts (also known as T-cells) was 182, which gave me a full-blown AIDS diagnosis. They put me on "bactrum" to prevent PCP pneumonia, and I eventually transferred my health care to McDowell Clinic. A few months later my CD4 count accelerated to 612, a very healthy number! I am continuing to receive care at McDowell Clinic. They have given me not only medical care, but they gave me love and a lot of hope. However, I will always have an "AIDS diagnosis", regardless of how high my CD4 counts are.
Please tell the GLBT community what it is like living with AIDS. What is your typical day like, what meds/side effects affect your body?
This has changed throughout the past year. I was working day labor and getting paid 5.15 an hour. During the summer my partner and I worked at a warehouse in south Phoenix full-time but because of the hard labor, it took its toll on our health. These days I receive many emails from media sources who want to do interviews, both in print or on TV. These interviews are not as easy as people might think. It is VERY draining when you share your pain in front of the camera. I remember a few weeks ago doing 3 interviews in one week! Each day I help my partner at his work, and then I return home and do more interviews or writing articles. I also have to keep appointments at places like DES or medical appointments. Now that I'm getting paid to speak, it has become a full-time job. In fact, my next speaking engagement is on Thursday, World AIDS Day, in Yuma (Quechan Tribe).
Please tell us about your entry in the Native American Recognition Days Parade.
In September, my partner said the theme was "Honoring Our Modern Day Warriors". He said I should apply. I thought to myself "this is crazy!" The next day I turned in the parade entry application. My partner and I made a huge banner which read "A Modern Day Warrior Fighting AIDS". We had no idea who was going to drive me in the parade. I called home and my mom said she would do it. I spoke to my niece who said she would bring a friend along to carry the banner. The day of the parade, two other tribal members came down and held signs like "NO STIGMA" and "NO IGNORANCE". When I was going through the parade people applauded and waved, saying things like "GOOD JOB!" to "IT'S ABOUT TIME!" Even the police along the parade route applauded and gave me thumbs up! It was a complete surprise!
What do you think of "bug chasers," "gift givers," and "barebacking?"
I never heard of such words before. I heard of barebacking, but I believe it goes back to how we conduct ourselves. I can always "blame" someone for giving me this virus, but in reality, I "allowed" myself to get this virus. I admit I made bad choices. Being under the influence of alcohol didn't help either, but I don't blame the alcohol. Whether you're a chaser, giver, or barebacking, there are consequences of such behavior. One MUST assume that EVERYONE is infected, only to protect yourself from getting HIV. Again, it all goes back to TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. When you do, you will be "free."
What do you think of the services provided for Native Americans with HIV/AIDS? What needs to be improved?
Do you have the time to hear me out???? This is the MAIN reason I called Mary Kim last year. I was being shuffled around from agency to agency, caseworker to caseworker, and it got old. There are no agencies providing direct care to Native Americans with HIV/AIDS. We have to go elsewhere to other agencies to get the help we need, whether it be for case management or privacy. As for improvement, I feel there needs to be case managers who are Native and HIV positive to BEST help people like us. There is plenty room for improvement, but I believe it will take Natives who are HIV positive to make the changes. We know what we need, "they" don't.
Note: Mary Kim was a Channel 12 News reporter.
What would you like to see your tribal government do about HIV on your reservation?
That's an easy question. Ensuring confidentiality is crucial to tribal members who want to get tested. If that barrier is crossed, more people would get the help they need. Having programs or referrals available, and once again, ensuring confidentiality, would be the first step. Having competent workers and having people that tribal members can identify with, is also important. The answers can go on and on.
Were you raised according to your Apache traditions and spiritual beliefs? If so, do those beliefs and traditions help you through tough times?
My parents were devout Catholics. I went to Catholic schools my entire life, all the way to St. Catherine's High School in Santa Fe, NM. I still ask questions about traditions and how people dealt with certain issues, but I can't seem to get a clear answer. Historically, my tribe, San Carlos Apache, was a place where the cavalry brought many Apaches from different bands together and had to live together and start a whole new life which is now San Carlos Lake. This may have brought a lot of confusion. Today, my spiritual beliefs are through prayer.
{mosimage}Please tell me how you managed to maintain a monogamous relationship?
Commitment has never been a part of my life. The longest I lasted was a month; I always jumped from relationship to relationship. When I tested positive I thought no one would want to be with me. I thought I was at the end of my ropes.....Little did I know there would be someone who I would fall for. He ended up being from MY TRIBE! My whole life I told myself I would never get with another San Carlos Apache...well I did. His name is Jared and he's also HIV positive. This month, November, marks one year that we've been together! Of course we have our ups and downs like any other couple, but I've gotten to the point where I simply don't have any desire to be with anyone else. There have been reporters who wanted to interview him or "us" as a couple, but because of family privacy, he declined, until today. He agreed to this interview and agreed to have a picture of us together to be included in NativeOUT's website. Being in a monogamous relationship has empowered me to make wiser choices. It has taught me the true meaning of love. I once heard that "love brings healing", and I believe that! I am blessed to have someone who loves me and who I love completely for the rest of our lives. I hope people out there realize that even though you may be hurting, lonely, desolate, homeless, that there are people who do care. There is a way out of homelessness, and there are resources available. I vowed to help as many people as possible who are in need of services. I survived the streets for 2 years, working day labor, and now in permanent housing. It is not easy but if you continue to believe in yourself and in God, things will turn out okay. You can contact me at
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
or through NativeOUT.com.
May God bring His blessings upon you!
Isadore Boni, San Carlos Apache, AIDS Survivor
Isadore & Jared's Comments
December 4, 2005
Thank you NativeOUT for including me in your World AIDS Day edition. Speaking at the Quechan Tribe was a blessing! So many tribal members participated, and I received a standing ovation! For your readers who emailed me, I appreciate all the words of support and encouragement. I plan to hit the local high schools and colleges beginning January and will continue to address tribal, local, state, and federal leaders to do more to help create services for Natives living with AIDS, including support for their families.
Jared & Isadore, Modern Day Warriors Fighting AIDS
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